Adolescence and Self-Esteem:
A Fragile Road
Wendi Hirsch, Ph.D.
|
Even confident
children can lose selfesteem
when they
move into adolescence.
It's naturally
a self-conscious age
when fitting in is
especially important.
This is when teens
begin middle school
and then high school, where their
performance and looks are constantly
judged by themselves and others.
What Affects Self-Esteem?
According to Kapi'olani clinical psychologist
Wendi Hirsch, Ph.D., a teen's selfesteem
reflects the difference between
her ideal and her actual self. If a teen
thinks there is a great disparity
between these two selves, then she
may have self-esteem problems.
 Self-esteem reflects how people value
themselves, and how worthwhile they
feel to others. It can affect a person's
behavior, confidence, and social life.
Low self-esteem problems may stem
from displeasure with appearance. This
is especially common in girls. Societal
and cultural standards can cause teens
to develop unhealthy, unrealistic views
about attractiveness and body size.
Two factors seem to influence a teen's
self-esteem, according to Dr. Hirsch:
- Accomplishments in school, sports, and other activities that are socially valued
- Support and approval from people they care about
How to Boost Self-Esteem
To help boost your teen's confidence,
Dr. Hirsch recommends these strategies:
- Encourage your teen to get involved in sports, hobbies, and other activities.
- Celebrate your teens' successes. Focus on the positives, and help them do the same.
- Teach your children to question the standards of attractiveness set forth in the media. Ask them how many people they know who really look like models or bodybuilders.
- If your teen has a weight problem, help her or him achieve a healthy weight in a safe way. Emphasize good nutrition and an active lifestyle. Avoid making critical comments about his or her weight, even if said in jest.
- Pay attention if your teen uses a lot of self-defeating statements. Negativity can signal low self-esteem. But reciting positive statements, such as "I can do anything that I set my mind to," may brighten one's outlook.
- Pay attention to signs that your teen is being bullied. Unexplained injuries, feeling scared or angry about going to school, and comments about especially mean classmates should be taken seriously.
- Avoid criticizing teens too much. When you are upset with your child, comment on his or her behaviors, not your teen. Saying "I get upset when you're on the phone for an hour" is better than "You're a phone addict." A good rule of thumb is to use this phrase: "I feel (blank) when you (blank). I'd prefer if you (blank)."
| Self-esteem problems can hit adolescents
hard. Teens with low self-esteem have a
higher risk for depression. They're also
more likely to smoke and to develop
alcohol and drug problems. Help your
teens feel better about themselves and
develop good coping skills for times of
distress. Knowing that you believe in
them and are there to support them
will make a big difference.
Visit www.kapiolani.org/womenand-children/health-guide.aspx
and search for "depression" to learn more about this topic. |
|
