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Talking Sex With Your Teens With studies showing that more than half of America’s teenagers have experienced sexual intercourse by the age of 18, educating kids about the joys and perils of sex is not for the faint of heart. Parents must be prepared to help their teens with emerging sexual issues, says Kapi`olani adolescent specialist Robert Bidwell, M.D. Otherwise, their teens could be risking early pregnancy,sexually transmitted diseases, exploitation and emotional turmoil. “The key thing for parents to remember,” he says, “is that your discussions with your teenager won’t happen in a vacuum. They will be a natural outgrowth of your overall relationship. So it’s important to build an open, trusting relationship while children are still young.” Dr. Bidwell adds that parents need to be alert to warning signs: a sudden loss of interest in school, a dramatic change in eating or sleeping habits, less openness about where they are going or who they are with, or enigmatic statements such as, “I think I might need to see a doctor.” How can parents approach the subject of sex with their teens? Here are a few suggestions. Look for openings. “Let’s say you’re watching the news on TV, and a story about teenage pregnancy comes up,” says Dr. Bidwell. “If you’re on your toes, you can use that story to begin a personal discussion about sexual issues.” Make the first move. If your child has questions, you want the answers to come from a mature, caring adult — not from peers. Sort out your own values in advance. “If a parent decides that sexual activity will be acceptable, then you need to have a discussion with your family doctor about how you’re going to handle such issues as pregnancy and disease prevention, when and if the time arrives,” says Dr. Bidwell. Talk to other parents. Learn from their experiences and gain valuable suggestions to help you communicate better with your own kids. Be sure to listen to your teen’s concerns and perspective before launching into your own parental advice. If the teen perceives the dialogue is only in one direction (a lecture), then the door to future communication may close. Robert Bidwell, M.D. >> HEAR FROM THE EXPERT: Is Your Teen Rebelling? Wednesday, Sept. 15 or Nov. 10, 6:30–7:30 p.m. Click here for more information.